I got to sleep about 3:00 this morning. Not the smartest thing I've ever done.
It wasn't my idea, entirely: Around 2:00 a.m., I caught on to what one of those parts of my mind that operate in the background was up to.
It was remembering that, after I got a call about a significant change in my mother's condition, I decided to postpone going up to see her. Just by a day so: I had a trip already planned within a few days. By the next morning, she was dead.
Now, it noted that I'd gotten a phone call about a significant change in my father's condition. It was keeping me up, waiting for that after-midnight telephone call from the medical center.
My wife assures me that I didn't foul up when my mother died: the decision was made logically, using information available. Just the same, I doubt that I'll ever shake the feeling that I should have handled that decision better.
A letter from my father arrived in the mail today. Time to see what's in it.
Tuesday, March 11, 2008
Tuesday: Transitions, Sleep, and Sense
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